About The Book

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

A Most Anticipated Novel of 2026 by Time, Town & Country, Bustle, and Zibby Media A Best New Book by People, New York Post, Library Journal, and BookBubFebruary Book Club Pick by Good Housekeeping

“The writing is so good it left me breathless. (Please someone make it into a series!) So Old, So Young is a triumph. I will never forget these characters." — Elin Hilderbrand

"I gulped it down on a plane, taking breaks to recall my own friend group from college. The people who are your real friends, the novel invites us to remember, often drive you completely crazy." — The New York Times


Six Friends.
Five Parties.
Twenty Years…
How did we get So Old, So Young?


From Grant Ginder, the bestselling author of The People We Hate at the Wedding, comes a generation-defining novel that is part love story, part tragic comedy. Five parties over the course of twenty years bring six college friends together, exploring the ways we run from and cling to our friends in love, life, and death.

For Marco and Mia, Sasha and Theo, Richie and Adam, the one constant in life after college together has been change. New jobs. New cities. New spouses. New children. Through it all, one thing they thought would always stay the same is their friendship.

But time has a way of breaking even the strongest bonds, and testing what we thought we knew. From East Village apartment parties and disastrous destination weddings, to fortieth birthdays and suburban backyard barbecues, Grant Ginder’s resonant, funny, and deeply moving novel is a story about the growing pains of the Millennial generation, and a celebration of how love can shift, stumble, and grow into something bigger than we ever could have imagined.

Reading Group Guide

1. While the point of view rotates between the group of friends, it’s Mia who grounds each of the sections; no matter the party, we always see it first through her eyes. How does she act as a guide for the reader? What unique perspective does she offer that the other characters do not?

2. Each of the five sections are sprinkled with cultural references and allusions that help us to locate them in a specific place and time. For example, on New Years Eve, 2007, Flo Rida plays from an iPod and Mia works for the now-defunct Details magazine; later, in 2019, Nina makes her fortune selling e-cigarettes. Which details made you especially nostalgic? And what details would you add to each of the sections that aren’t already there?

3. As a twenty-two-year-old in search of excitement, Sasha develops a habit of sneaking into parties—or, as she describes it, “looking for places she doesn’t belong” (page 37). While there, she feels her mind “slipping into a liminal space, a sort of psychic DMZ that [exists] between who everyone [expects] her to be and who she [knows] she actually [is]” (page 37). How does this feeling help—and haunt—her later in life? And to what degree do all the characters struggle with reconciling who they are with the expectations that are placed on them?

4. After Adam breaks up with Richie in Cancun, he explains to Mia how he feels like he may have outgrown him. Given how infatuated Adam was with Richie when they first met, this is a startling twist of fate. And yet, many of the other characters experience similar changes of heart toward people in their lives. What exactly does Adam mean by “outgrowing” someone? In your experience, how—and why—has this occurred in your own relationships?

5. In many ways, Richie is the novel’s most flawed character. He struggles with addiction, can be unfathomably cruel, and, at least when he’s younger, takes many of his friendships for granted. At the same time, as the friends get older, he’s often the most clear-eyed about the state of their relationships and goes out of his way to make amends with Nina. How does this complicate your understanding of him as a character? How do you think Richie’s struggles contribute to his perspective on friendship, loyalty, and love?

6. At the end of the third section, we’re given a surprise chapter from Nina Guzman’s point of view. Why do you suppose the author decided to focus on Nina at this moment in time? What are the effects of the chapter on how you understand Nina and her role in the novel?

7. Friendship is obviously a central theme in the novel—both how it can save us, but also how difficult it is to maintain in the face of change. In fact, at the party in Montclair, it’s conflicting ideas about friendship and loyalty that ultimately drive Sasha and Mia apart. How do they talk past each other in this scene? What is the book implying about our own nostalgia can trap us?

8. Were you surprised by who died at the end of the book? Why do you think the author decided this character would die, as opposed to one of the other characters?

9. While there are a number of reconciliations at the end of the book, many of them are nonetheless fragile. It’s unclear, for example, whether Marco and Mia will ultimately get back together, or if their present life circumstances will keep them apart. And while Richie makes the decision not to drink again, his sobriety is painted as tenuous, and still a struggle. Why do you think the author decided to keep things relatively open-ended? What does this imply about friendship, aging, and nostalgia? What do you imagine these characters’ lives looking like in the next five years? The next ten years?

10. The cast of characters in So Old, So Young is decidedly Millennial. As they age, what experiences and struggles do they face that are specific to that generation? Which ones are universal?

11. So Old, So Young has a unique structure: each of its five sections takes place at a specific party or gathering, with large block of time elapsing between them. While the novel covers two decades, we only see brief snapshots of the characters’ lives. Why do you think the author chose this particular structure for the story? How does it allow the reader to gain new insights into the characters’ growth and their relationships?

12. In addition to themes of friendship and aging, the novel explores the ways in which seemingly small decisions or meetings can have lasting, profound consequences. Looking back at your life, which five parties or gatherings do you consider to be the most significant? If you could go back and change one thing from one of them, what would it be, and how do you imagine it affecting the course of your life?

About The Author

Photograph by Patrick Lupinski

Grant Ginder is the author of five novels, including Let’s Not Do That Again and The People We Hate at the Wedding, now a major motion picture starring Allison Janney, Kristen Bell, and Ben Platt. Originally from Southern California, Ginder received his MFA from New York University, where he teaches writing.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Gallery/Scout Press (February 17, 2026)
  • Length: 384 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781668051795

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Raves and Reviews

"Grant Ginder has written The Big Chill of our times . . . and possibly done an even better job. The writing is so good it left me breathless. (Please someone make it into a series!) So Old, So Young is a triumph. I will never forget these characters."
— Elin Hilderbrand

"I gulped it down on a plane, taking breaks to recall my own friend group from college. The people who are your real friends, the novel invites us to remember, often drive you completely crazy."
— The New York Times

“A sensational novel that follows a group of friends from the salad days of college through the thorny years of middle age, So Old, So Young is a story of romantic love, professional jealousy, misplaced longing, and—above all—the gift of lifelong friendship. You will laugh on every page, except for when you find yourself moved to tears.”
— Jenny Jackson, New York Times bestselling author of Pineapple Street

 "Across five parties and 20 years, this novel follows six college friends as they love, fight, pull apart and find their way back together again in the wake of a close friend’s death. So Old, So Young is an embodiment of the growing pains of adulthood."
— USA Today

“The bonds of youth may fray, but in Ginder’s lively, bittersweet latest, their connective power prevails.”
— People

“This poignant, sharp novel taps into themes of friendship, modern adulthood, and the passage of time, suggesting that Ginder has, in fact, penned this generation’s Big Chill. A must-read, indeed.”
— Parade

“Brilliantly observed and deeply felt, this is a riveting tale about how we live, learn, and evolve with a little help from our friends.”
— The Boston Globe

“A resonant exploration of platonic love and what it takes to grow up and grow together. Ginder writes about friendship with his signature wit and insight—his characters are smart, messy, gloriously flawed, and laugh-out-loud funny. So Old, So Young is as sharp as it is tender.”
— Coco Mellors, New York Times bestselling author of Blue Sisters

“Heartbreaking, heartwarming and oh, so very true: with So Old, So Young, Grant Ginder has delivered a pitch perfect tribute to the powers (and perils) of long-lasting friendship. Party by party, year by year, we watch a group of college friends do the inevitable hard work of growing up. These characters and their lives are fresh, and yet their story is universal. Ginder will make you smile, cry and pick up the phone and call your oldest friend.”
— Xochitl Gonzalez, New York Times bestselling author of Olga Dies Dreaming and Anita de Monte Laughs Last

"This tragicomic, generation-spanning novel follows six college friends over the course of five eventful parties, spread across two decades. From a New Year’s Eve celebration on the Lower East Side, to a Cancún wedding, and ultimately, a funeral, we observe how their friendships shift as jobs, lovers, babies, and grief test the bonds that once felt unbreakable."
— Bustle

"Like a younger version of the recent Four Seasons adaptation . . . the writing is terrifically funny and also grounded.”
— Los Angeles Times

"How is it that a life can be measured? Some would say in years, others in (sorry) daylights, sunsets, midnights, or cups of coffee. Here, the author of The People We Hate at the Wedding charts the lives of six friends across two decades of parties; checking in with them from post-collegiate apartment ragers to middle-aged suburban barbecues and charting the ways in which their lives change, their identities shift, and their friendships endure in ways nobody—not the characters or the reader—could expect."
— Town & Country

“Sharp, funny and profound. Ginder at his best.”
— Rebecca Serle, New York Times bestselling author of In Five Years
 
"I’m obsessed with this book! So Old, So Young follows a group of college friends over decades as they grow up and grow apart, perfectly capturing the splits, spats, and celebrations that occur over the years. These characters are so vivid and real that by the end of the book they felt like my friends . . . and I missed them badly as soon as I turned the last page. Grant Ginder is extraordinarily talented at examining the absurdity and joys of friendship and love, of making you laugh while he breaks your heart, and this is without a doubt his best book yet—honest, witty, and just so damn funny!"
— Jennifer Close, New York Times bestselling author of Girls in White Dresses
 
“Love, marriage, careers, addictions, friendships, and rivalries all unfold in this bighearted book.”
— Good Housekeeping
 
"Buoyant and funny page by page, this book nonetheless has a sad and serious heart.”
— Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"The ensemble cast is carefully constructed, and each member is memorable, unique, and well defined. Ginder creates some genuinely hilarious, believable scenes tempered with touches of pathos. Fans of films like The Four SeasonsThe Big Chill, and St. Elmo’s Fire will appreciate the witty banter, poignant moments, and dynamic interplay that Ginder skillfully orchestrates.”
— Booklist (starred review)

"Ginder writes with the clarity of a surgeon, but the spiritual generosity of a sage. You will see your own youth caught in all its beauty and awkwardness, scream in recognition and embarrassment, then cry with the relief and grace of being seen. Propulsive and engrossing, So Old, So Young is a delight and a triumph."
— Rufi Thorpe, nationally bestselling author of Margo’s Got Money Troubles

“Here it is: the friend-ensemble novel of our age. Grant Ginder delivers his trademark wit alongside gut-punches of emotional truth, earning So Old, So Young a spot next to classic predecessors such as McCarthy’s The Group and Wolitzer’s The Interestings—as well as its own place of literary honor.”
— Mary Laura Philpott, author of Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives

“Funny and poignant, the novel runs on its deliciously witty dialogue. Ginder effectively portrays the recurring joy of lasting friendships along with the pain of growing apart. It’s a triumph.”
— Publishers Weekly

"A sharp exploration of relationships and the curious blend of love and resentment they bear. Ginder does not disappoint."
— Library Journal
 
“Ginder is a master of writing characters in hilariously awkward social situations, and he’s done it again with So Old, So Young
— Lit Hub
 
“This generational tale, which is both funny and moving, examines friendship, love, death, and how aging changes who we are and what we cling to.”
— BookTrib

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