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Our New World of Adult Bullies

How to Spot Them — How to Stop Them

Published by Health Communications Inc
Distributed by Simon & Schuster


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About The Book

Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior.

Bullies exist everywhere: families, workplaces, neighborhoods and communities, politics and government, and organizations of all types and sizes. And in a media landscape where conflict, crisis, chaos, and fear reign supreme, every day we see the worst behavior of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures who serve as role models.

Winners and losers. Friends and enemies. Heroes and villains. People with high-conflict personalities think almost solely in these extremes. They regularly express unmanaged emotions, routinely blame others, and do harmful things that 90% of people would never do. Bullies share these characteristics, plus a drive to dominate or destroy their victims.

But all bullies act in the same highly predictable patterns, regardless of their demographics and situation. By focusing on the ten hidden powers bullies employ—from their unrestrained nature and bully story to manipulating emotions and playing the victim—Bill Eddy unpacks the way bullies rely on primitive emotions and nonverbal behavior. He helps readers spot these behaviors and offers practical actions before they become immobilized by helplessness, blame, and shame.

In today’s world, we all may have an adult bully in our lives sooner or later. For anyone who has a bully in their life now, for professionals who counsel victims of bullying, and for anyone who is concerned about the fraying of our culture and society, this book gives effective strategies to prevent bullies from taking over. Eddy’s six-step approach includes useful advice on how to:

  • Recognize the patterns of bully behavior
  • Pull the plug on the bully’s story
  • Set limits with credible threats
  • Impose serious consequences
  • Communicate effectively about bullies to others
  • Stand strong with others against bullies

Our New World of Adult Bullies takes a closer look at the dangerous behavior of bullies and how to stop the behavior before it starts.

About The Author

Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, and the Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He develops methods to help resolve high conflict family, workplace, and legal disputes, including EAR Statements™, BIFF Response® emails, New Ways for Families® skills training methods for potentially high conflict parents in divorce and New Ways for Work™ coaching for potentially high conflict employees. He has trained lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists in 38 states and 13 countries in managing high conflict personalities. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals for managing high conflict disputes. As a mediator, he was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center based in San Diego for 15 years. Previously, as a lawyer, he was a Certified Family Law Specialist in California for 15 years representing clients in family court. Prior to that, he provided psychotherapy for 12 years to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. His Psychology Today blog has received over 6 million views. 

Product Details

  • Publisher: Health Communications Inc (June 11, 2024)
  • Length: 288 pages
  • ISBN13: 9780757325106

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Raves and Reviews

Our New World of Adult Bullies is timely! Anyone can be bullied. Bill Eddy explains not only the damaging toxicity and effects of bullying but the psychological understanding of how to stop it. Poignant examples, from history and everyday life, bring it home. This book empowers and offers solutions instead of reactions. Much needed in a time of great divide and polarization.”

—Karyl Mcbride, Ph.D., author of Will the Drama Ever End? Untangling and Healing from the Harmful Effects of Parental Narcissism

“As always, Bill delivered a book that is easy to digest, and full of practical insights and advice. Make the decision to take back your power. Start by reading this book.”

—Catherine Mattice, CEO, Civility Partners and workplace bullying expert

“Bill Eddy has had a long and distinguished career as a mediator, trainer, and author. He brings this experience and wisdom to his latest book. Having read the book, I feel more confident with not just identifying bullies but more importantly how to pull the plug on bullies. Given the heightened levels of divisiveness and polarization in society, this book couldn’t have come soon enough.”

—Steven P. Dinkin, president, National Conflict Resolution Center

“Crystal clear, eye-opening take on the bullies in our lives, whether at work, at home, or in our culture. Eddy’s easy-going conversational tone belies the solid science that drives his ideas and spot-on practical advice. Learn how to recognize bullies, understand how they get into our heads, and how to evict them.”

—Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison: How To Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing

“Great book—I really enjoyed reading it. I learned several?things that I will be able to use! In a world where bullying and aggressive behavior are increasingly prevalent, Bill Eddy's latest book is a must-read. His approaches in managing high-conflict behaviors are a cornerstone of my practice. Offering practical solutions and deep insights, backed by real-world examples, this book is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to navigate and mitigate such conflicts effectively.”

—Susan Guthrie, attorney, mediator, Chair of American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution

“Drawing from over a decade of dedicated service in childhood anti-bullying education, I recognize the great importance and urgency of this book. Bill Eddy, through his multifaceted career, has laid bare the intricate dynamics of adult bullying, whether in the workplace or home, but also equips readers with the crucial strategies to identify, confront, and effectively tackle such behavior. We must no longer be silenced when it comes to bullying and feeling alone, enough is enough!”

—Sunnie McFadden-Curtis, advocate for women and children, filmmaker, award-winning director of Bullying: A Culture of Silence

“Bill Eddy gives elaborate explanations, with myriad examples at every level of society, of why and how adults with persistent aggressive and domineering behaviors get their power, and how to most effectively respond without getting caught in their sticky webs of influence. It will serve as an instructional manual for readers in understanding and responding to dominating behaviors by individuals within various contexts, including their families, their workplaces, online and even in elections.”

—Don Saposnek, Ph.D., author of Mediating Child Custody Disputes and co-author of Splitting America

“Bill Eddy sheds light on the why and the how of bullying and gives the other 90% of the world tools to help stop this epidemic from ruining our families, communities, and nations. He offers a highly focused and effective application of compassionate accountability you can use to manage bullies in your life and keep yourself from getting sucked into the toxic win-lose vortex.”

—Nate Regier, PhD, CEO, Next Element Consulting, author of Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results

“What a fantastic book. Yet again Bill Eddy has distilled decades of wisdom into down-to-earth concepts that resonate deeply and strategies that are attainable for practitioners at all levels. A must-read for family violence survivors seeking tips on how to safely and effectively instruct counsel, work with a mediator or self-represent in court.”

—Hilary Linton, JD., LL.M., president, Riverdale Mediation Ltd. and mediate393 inc.

“While educators are normally quite adept at resolving problems on a daily basis, the increasing visibility of adult bullies in the educational arena has been perplexing. This practical guide will empower educators to set realistic limits on adult bullies—with consequences that will effectively stop their polarizing behavior. Administrators and school board members, in particular, will benefit from the steps outlined in this timely publication.”

—Dennis Doyle, PhD, retired superintendent

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